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| 24 weeks_Runaway Bay, Jamaica-photo courtesy of Philip Fadul |
And very soon! While this is news to you it's definitely been my life everyday for the past 32 weeks (8 months is normal people speak). I speak in weeks, think way more about what I'm eating than I'm used to, and shop for furniture based on safety rather than style. My life has been invaded by a person whose face I have yet to see, but makes his presence known by making alien-like ripples across my belly at inopportune times and elbows me from the other side of my bellybutton. I'd love to say that my experience has been "beautiful" and "magical" as I've heard pregnant women express in the past, but quite honestly I feel, well, duped. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to meeting my little guy and adding another title to my name, but no one told me what pregnancy was REALLY like. I get it--every experience is unique, but really? So here are a few things that I have learned so far:
1. Morning sickness feels like a perpetual hangover...that lasts 3 months. These helped. When I wasn't vomiting I felt like I'd feel better if I was, and at some point vomiting and peeing happened at the same time, so mornings were all about strategy and positioning.
2. No more long casual walks at lunch time. Some time during my second trimester I thought to take my usual walk for a salad at lunch (maybe two blocks) and was declined by my legs. They all but gave out at the end of block one. Talk about disappointed!
3. Everything annoyed me. I don't think I've rolled my eyes so much in my life! I have zero tolerance for foolishness and empathy isn't something I 'do' right now.
4. You can clear a room. Pregnancy=Gas, and all the time too! It's so unattractive, unprofessional and, well, gross. But you can't help it!
5. Ready for more grossness? Well your, ahem, lady parts get...juicier. While this may be convenient for some purposes, it can get real inconvenient on a daily basis. Add this to the next 'experience' and you will have officially become socially awkward.
6. You'll pee on yourself at least once. Maybe not enough to become a laughing-stock, but definitely enough to solicit an immediate wardrobe change. I don't embarrass easily, but sneezing and making my 'mark' at the same time in a public place definitely made for an uncomfortable moment.
7. You will discover more muscles and nerves exist in your nether-regions than you care to know. On days when I did a bit too much of everything I was sure I had sprained my 'v' for sure, or would feel like my new inhabitant would just fall out the bottom at any moment. Not a good feeling at all.
8. Everything hurts...eventually. And I mean everything.
9. Regular sex helps prevent the dreaded episiotomy--you know...when they cut the exit to make it wider for a little head. Yeah...ouch! But glad I learned this tidbit before the delivery room.
10. Overstimulating the nipples can cause preterm labor...and so can tea. Well-intentioned older people will give you some advice (like toughen up your nips to prepare for breastfeeding) that may not be the best idea. So always ask your Dr or Midwife before trying anything...even smacking around your own nips. Oh and raspberry leaf tea is good for delivery prep in the last few weeks, but beware anytime before. You don't want any preterm escapee happening.
11. Everyone's an Obstetrician. Be careful not to vocalize your woes too much because you're bound to get a whole lot of unsolicited advice from people who 'heard' this or 'experienced' that (50 years ago). Seek info for yourself and ask your doc when in doubt.
12. You get to choose your birth experience. If you don't mesh with your Dr. anymore anytime throughout your process, get a new one. If you don't want drugs, don't opt for any. And if you want your baby delivered in a hospital in a tub full of water to the tunes of Lionel Ritchie that's your prerogative. It's your body, your baby, and you should have your way. Period.
13. Yoga and Pilates saved my hips. The earlier you sign up for regular prenatal classes, the easier your experience will be.
There really are a ton of things I've learned, but I'll spare you from an even longer list. Just do your homework before you get to the plus or minus crossroad of life, if possible. Pregnancy has it's good moments, and they're definitely more plentiful when you have a good and very present support system. So take it easy, establish good eating habits early and focus on your back muscles in your workout regimen. Trust me, you'll need them the most.
xo, august & pepper