We've made it to the home stretch! In 40 days (hopefully a little less) a new title will be added to my life's resume--mommy. I can't believe how quickly the time has flown by! And my 'before-I-have-a-baby-bucket-list' still has quite a few to-dos on it that don't appear to be happening any time soon. One of which was to have something published. But in the race to finish the baby room, the blanket and my final days in the office, that hardly feels like a feasible priority. Ah well!
Strangely, none of this felt completely real until last weekend when I sat in the middle of the floor (in our semi-completed nursery) amongst all the gifts and well wishes from our baby shower. You'd think that after months of sickness, soreness and my rapidly growing baby bump that I'd be more in sync with my new reality. On the contrary, it's as though I've been waiting all this while to wake up--all of this was a dream and my life would feel normal again in the morning. But not so much. Which makes me feel incredibly guilty. I should be over the moon happy about my new life's calling. Instead I've spent the last 35 weeks internalizing the judgements of family, the pressure of external expectations and carrying the weight of my own life responsibilities; none of which took pause because of my new 'condition.' A good support system is definitely the key to a happy and healthy pregnancy; and for what it's worth, I'm going to try my best to make the most of my final days carrying such a precious gift under my heart.
Oh, and PS, my best friend is a rockstar! She made me feel so loved by throwing the best baby shower I could have imagined! Real friends truly are the family you choose. :)
xo, august & pepper
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